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News and Events
by Brian Weilert

Kid Love


In kindergarten, I fell in love

She had an awesome book bag

I told her so

She was not impressed


In 1st grade

My love grew

This time I pulled her hair

She did not get the hint


2nd grade-frog gift failed


3rd grade a funny love poem about farts… a “no go”


4th Grade brought promise

We had the same home room

            A sign from God

I played it cool with a casual, “Hey.”

She didn’t look disgusted by my speaking

I was making progress


As a 5th grader things changed

            On her

Though I knew I liked what was happening

It frighten me…

A year of nearly no contact

But my love grew


6th grade and I am going to make my move

I am almost an adult now

No more child’s play

I approach, confident, manly

I only get two words outs of my lengthy proclamation of love…

When my voice gives way to that of a little girl

            She laughed

Damaging me for life…



Junior high and I fear I will never figure

Her out…

I am running out of time

I may die a bachelor

I really want to have her for my very own

I would love her sooooo much

And hold her sooooo tight she could suffocate

I would be by her side always


But she just doesn’t seem to get it…

…or want it.




Art of Attraction


She sits right behind me during art center

I drop my crayons on the floor





 kick them behind me

            so many times



My tree has no leaves

            No branches


My sky no clouds

            No smiling sun


But as I turn to pick them up


I look up and she smiles


            And I don’t give a shit about my picture




New Girl


I saw the new classmate by the monkey bars

            She was super-hot…

for a girl

If cooties did indeed infest the opposite sex,

            I was sure she was immune.


I knew the other suave savages

            would make haste to rendezvous with the Georgia peach

                        Did I mention she was from Savannah?

I needed to act first

            I needed to capture her affections before the others

                        I needed a master plan

                                    A plan from the mind of a sophisticated lover

                                                Not a third grader….


            When it came to me

I just knew

I had watched my older brother and his friends

            The action often left them laughing…seemingly closer

It would take precise hand-eye coordination…

                        Something I had yet to master

I approached…dazzled by her beauty

            Sure that her affections would soon be mine

Before she turned to greet me

            My hands shot out

Fingers poised to pinch

            A direct hit on her nipples

                         as I screamed, “Purple Nurples!”


Three days later

            I am still at home

I hear she is dating Larry.



A Poem for Maybelle


A Poem for Maybelle

I see you at lunch

            White milk

                        Not chocolate

I’m intrigued


To read more, order the script