Adam: (Stretching face really wide) BIG FACE!  (Shrinking face) little face.  (Expanding face again) BIG FACE!... (Face warm-up continues)

Sara: (rolling eyes) Sorry, that’s my husband Adam.  He’s…an “actor.”  I’m a little sarcastic about the how actor thing.  I can’t help it, I mean, we’ve been married almost a year and I keep hoping that someday soon Adam will wake up and go “I think I’ll start acting my age”

A: (Switching facial warm-ups) BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB…

S: I’m still waiting.  I know I promised to love and cherish until death do us part, but this work-by-night, audition-by-day thing is going to drive me insane.  I just wish he would mature, you know, grow up a little.

A: (New warm up) BIG BROWN BEAR!  baby black bug… 

S:  He hasn’t.  Which is why I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell him…the news…I just don’t know if he can handle it. 

A:  Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls, Adam Brubaker is ready for his: AUDITION.

S: See what I mean?

S: When we first started dating I loved his enthusiasm…Adam’s characters were pretty funny and in a weird way were very effective in seducing me.

 (Scene one)

A: Hello Madame, may I ask your name?

S: Umm, I’m Sara and you are?

A: My name is Victor vanFrankco Sweetinsassy and you: are lovely.

S: Why thank you Victor; you’re not so bad yourself.

A: I could stare at you for months on end…

S: Victor you’re really…interesting, but I’m supposed to be meeting a guy named Adam tonight.

A: Adam eh?  He sounds like a real: pansy.

S: I don’t know if he’s a pansy or not.  This is a blind date, but my roommate says he’s pretty cute.

A: (normal voice) Erica said I was cute huh?  That was nice of her.  I’m Adam.

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S: We started going out on a regular basis after he tricked me with “Victor” and it was always interesting to see what kind of character he would come up with next.

 (Scene two)

A:  RODNEY IS READY TO GO PLAY PUTT-PUTT.

S: Adam, you really shouldn’t be so loud in public

A:  WHO’S ADAM…I WANT PUTT-PUTT; I WANT PUTT-PUTT

S: Seriously Adam this is little embarrassing.

A: RODNEY LIKE PUTT-PUTT; RODNEY PRO PUTT-PUTT PLAYER; WATCH ME GOOOOOOOOOO!

S: Enough!  Actually I’m a little offended; making fun of mentally handicapped people is not my idea of a good time.

A: (normal voice) I’m sorry, it was a new character; I thought you would like it.

S: Well I don’t; can we go play now?

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S: I was pretty ticked at him for that one: our first fight.  See I was actually studying for a degree in special education, but I know Adam didn’t mean any harm, plus how could I stay mad at such a cute face?

(Scene Three)

A: Oh my God!  You have got to see this sweater…it is soooo you.

S: It’s a nice sweater.

A: You should try it on; sister friend you would look soooo hot in it.

S: Are you sure you don’t want to try it on?

A: Please girl, you know Shasha only wears designer.

S: Ahh…you little.

A: (normal voice) Seriously though, you would look good in this sweater when you meet my parents.

S: Parents huh?  What does that mean?

A: I guess the (Voiceover accent) viewing audience will have to stay tuned after these commercials from Orange Clean, the fresh cleaner.

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S: Getting a serious word out of him was hard and I started to realize this after I meet his parents and he met mine.  I started to get use to his voices and besides by this time it was too late, no matter his flaw, I was head over heels in love.  I know it sounds cliché, but I mean it in the literal sense.

(Scene four)

(Actors should lie upside down on chair with faces towards judge)

A: I’m really glad you agreed to take this bungee jumping plunge with me.

S: Me….Me….holy….me too.

A:  I didn’t want this to be too corny but its kind of me, you know, of course you know.  I thought of all the possible ways to do this…your mom and dad seemed happy…I know I act a little silly sometimes with all my characters but…I just thought…

S: Adam what’s wrong? You’re acting…well…your actually not acting…what’s wrong?

A: Since you’ve taken this plunge with me I was hoping you would take the big plunge with me and be my wife?

S: Wow…of course I will…Yeah…I mean yes.  I would give you a kiss but hanging upside down like this is making me pretty sick and I’ve already thrown up a little in my mouth.

A: I love you.

S: I love you…I love all of yous.