I= Interviewer                                                                                                 C= Custer

I:  This interview is being conducted on the morning of June 22^nd the year 1876.  For the record, can you state your full name?

C: Lieutenant Colonel George Armstrong Custer.

I:  What would you like me to call you?

C:  Well, I have been called a lot of things.   You could try "Iron Butt" or "Hard Ass" that’s what many have taken to calling me?

I:  Why do you think that is?

C:  I know why, it’s because of my physical stamina in the saddle and my strict discipline.

I:  I hear some have called you Ringlets or Yellow Hair due to you vanity about your appearance and curling blond hair.

C:  I have heard that one too.   None of those to my face though.  I would suggest you not be the first.

I:  I have no intentions….Can I just call you Colonel then?

C:  Yes.  

I:   Colonel, you said I could ask you any questions today so; I am going to take full advantage of that invitation.   Please, don’t think me rude, but I do want honest answers.   

C:  Son, I have been in the public’s eye since the start of the Civil War, you aren’t going to offend me.

I:  Good, let begin then.   I have to ask, do you actually wear cinnamon oil in your hair?

C:  (laughing) Would you care to smell? 

I:  No thanks, I will just take that as a yes.  Colonel, you have many that admire you but nearly as many detractors that say you have an obsessive personality. That this drive to end the Indian wars has made you…I don’t know, overly—driven? Sorry, just couldn’t think of the word…How would you respond to that?

C:  It has been said that I have an obsessive personality, that I am too driven…To those who say this, I simply reply…mind your own damn business.

I:  That’s really not an answer…

C:  You asked, “How I would respond?”  I think that is how I would respond.  (pause)

Obsessed…me?   I do not understand how one who has a passion to succeed; to see a task to its end can be so wrongly labeled.    It is clear that we must finish the job and the fact that I am the perfect man to see it through and have expressed resolve to do so, should not be a disparagement upon my good name.  It is those who fail who are written of as lunatics and loons, but those who succeed are men of great fortitude and drive…the task does not define rationality- only whether one is successful in the attempt of that task.  Sailing across the oceans to find a new continent only seems irrational if you fall off the end of the Earth.

I:  So, why do you think people don’t like you?

C: I think in part I am attacked due to my natural good looks and charisma.  Others who lack these traits often wish to paint me in poor light.   I wish to note that my fame is of little importance to me but the world should not be denied the background and story of my great doings. 

I:  Do you see how that could come across as arrogant?

C:  I have little concern of how I come across. 

I:  Okay, I see….let’s change tracks here a little bit and go back to how you got started.

C:  Young man, if you are going to ask me about West Point, that is not news…I finished last in my class…is that what you’re going to ask me.

I:  I….yes.

C:  Like I am some dummy that wouldn’t know buffalo dung from Shinola?  You listen here, I meant to finish last…you hear me?  There are only two places in a class, the head and the foot, and since I had no desire to be the head, I aspired to be the foot. It was all right with me, whether I knew my lesson or not: I simply did not allow it to trouble me. 

I:  Okay, what about the demerits, they say had the war not broken out you would wouldn’t have graduated or at the very best ended up as some obscure post.

C:  Are you going to keep dragging up things from fifteen years ago?  I was a boy and I liked to pull pranks.  That was it; silly jokes that those in charge just didn’t cotton to.   You try to make it sound like I was some idiot and son, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.  I will not sit here and answers questions that are as old and stale as hard tack.   They said you were smart.  I guess I expected more…some new angle…something fresh.

I:  Fine let’s talk about your orders.

C:  What about them?

I:   Major Reno, I was told, discovered the trail along the Rosebud River that leads down to a valley.  Your entire regiment has been detached to follow it later this morning…

C:  What about it?

I:  I was also told you expect to find hostiles at the end of that trail.

C:  I would both expect and hope to.

I:  Well, then let me ask you about something that happened yesterday.

C:  Do tell, what happened yesterday? 

I:  Well, I was told that General Terry offered you four companies of the 2^nd Calvary and you said no.  You are getting ready to go into a possible battle…why would you decline this help?

C:   Others have offered to help but I should think they would simply be in the way.   I have absolute confidence in my ability and that of the men I have trained.  I could whip any Indian village on the Plains.  Plus, commanding these extra troops that are neither familiar with me nor I with them would prove to simply be a burden.

I:  But what if you are outnumbered?  

C:   I have over 600 well-trained men under my command.  I am confident in my ability to lead these men.

I:  But what if…

C:   There is no if….I know.  Do you hear what I am saying?  I know!

I:  Okay, fair enough…what about reports that you had Gatling guns at your disposal but you chose to leave them back on the steamer?   Is that true?

C:  True.

I:  Can I ask why?  As a bystander I would think just having this technology on the battlefield would be demoralizing to the Indians.

C:  Perhaps, but again, to travel over the terrain we must in the next few days, they would be an undue burden.  Mobility and swiftness are keys to victory.

I:  Okay, but what about your regiment’s sabers?   Is it true you boxed them up and sent them back with the wagons?  

C:  True.  

I:  Can I ask why?  Surely, you aren’t going to claim that are a burden?

C:  Look, this is beginning to be tiresome.  I am not used to having every little decision I make questioned.   Am I not standing before you now?   I have survived battle after battle during the war…I have been fighting Indians longer than I care to think….yet here I stand.   Amazing right? Having made so many bad decisions…now, if you will excuse me, I need to get ready to prepare for, apparently, my slaughter.

I:   Sir, you promised me a full fifteen minutes.   I would like you to honor your word.

C:  Fine but what else could you possibly have to ask?

I:  Remember, you wanted fresh, so how about we get away from your professional life and talk about your personal life.

C:  Wade carefully son.

I:  I would like to ask you about your infidelity.

C:  I warned you to be careful boy…

I:  It has been accused that just eight years ago, you married Monahsetah, the daughter of Cheyenne Chief Little Rock, and she bore your son.

C:  That is a lie!

I: Sir, it has been alleged by not only Captain Frederick Benteen but also chief of scouts, Ben Clark that after the Battle of Washita River…

C:  Those two are bold-faced liars.  I would never cheat on my wife.  If I were to ever get my hands on them…

I:  Why would they lie?  What could possibly be their motivation?